When You Have Lost Your Mother~

Greetings,

Today is what American designates as Mother’s Day. Restaurants will be full, florist will be especially busy while many other Americans will still be running around in search of that vey special present in recognition of their mom.  I thouught to reflect for just a moment to remind you of what is really important for those who have or had a mother who has, or is, simply giving her best and her all in raising her child all without an instruction book as a guide in quest of the “perfect parent” which of course, is a fallacy.

I am approaching the 7th year of the passing of my beloved mom Nellie Hornsby and it still seems like yesterday when she was here with me or I was with her. Upon her leaving this diminsion Mother’s Day has nor will it ever be the same for me. I know I’m not alone, thousands of single parents are grieving the loss of their mom.  It seems as though everywhere I went today I observed Mother’s Day preparation and I found myself wishing I could once again bring my mom flowers, make her dinner or take her out to dinner, pick out that perfect hanging planter for her patio.  Just anything to be able to physically touch her but that won’t happen and I realize it.  So what do I and others like me do?

First, I thank the universe for giving me to her, how lucky and fortunate I was. She was not only an amazing person but the best mother I ever could have had.  Second, I give thanks and honor for every minute I spent with her and how I treated her as my beloved mom. No matter what I am so thankful even when she might have presented herself as somewhat of a stranger during the latter stages of her life never once did I give her anything other than my utmost love and respect.  I give thanks for the special moments I created with her like attending my Kindergarten class reunion to a visit to the old farm where I was raised, to night life at a local popular downtown dance site!  No matter the occassion just for the honor to be in her presence and to let her know how much I loved her, I give thanks today and every day. For all the times I kissed her beautiful and precious soft Ebony face I give honor and thanks today.

You see, it is through our interactions with our parents that we create memories. It is through our interactions with our parents that we learn how to teach our children to love. If those interactions are healthy that is what we pass on to and teach our children. If those interactions are unhealthy and disfunctional that is what we pass on to and teach our children.  It is my hope if your mother is living you are creating and fostering a healthy loving relationship with her because believe me, someday that might be all you have to help you through those special times when you will especially long for the touch of your mom.  For me, that’s everyday.

So, in honor of my mother I will spend my day in quiet mode, thanking the universe for my beautiful and precious son who adored his grandmother, and reminiscing over all of the love she gave to me and my siblings. Your mom is your first love, your first touch, your first kiss, your first protector, the giver of your life. Never abuse that, never neglect that, and never forget that or your will not have the special loving memories that are so important to get you through those special traditions like Mother’s day.

Peace~