Greetings!

In just a few hours polls will begin to open across the country to elect the next president of the United States of America. Fortunately for me I had bright, educated parents who were engaged in the political process throughout their entire lives.  There is not a day that passes when I don’t wish they were still physically with me. I learned so very much from them and I continue to learn because of them. Their vast knowledge I continue to pass on to my precious son who also votes with a passion.

Exercising the right to vote is a right I have always and will forever act upon because I know there is a clear difference in policy based on the candidates. As a single parent I know the challenges of safe, quality, and afford childcare, the importance of family leave which provides an opportunity to attend conferences during the day rather than only after normal work hours, the importance of equal pay for equal work, justice and equality, addressing the school to prison pipeline, support for public school education.  Each of these and so much more are at stake in this critically important election.

Please do NOT think your vote does not matter, it does. Please do NOT think you do not have a good choice, you do. Just examine what has been said and more importantly, what has been “modeled” through not only your eyes, but also the eyes and ears of your children.  If you do that, I am certain you will find the right answer.

I can’t wait to get to the polls later today, and I both ask and hope you will do the same.  For your future and the future of your children.  Vote on Tuesday November 8!

Greetings!

If your child is struggling in a particular subject which is usually indicated around second grade, it might be a “flag” for you that a little extra support is needed, which is one of many reasons why it is so important to monitor your child’s homework assignments and completion.  By doing so it will let you know both what they are learning as well as how they are doing.

When it comes to math, it is not uncommon for parents of middle school children to express frustration around the fact that even they are challenged with helping their child with homework because they do not really understand how math is being taught today.

If you feel your child might be in need of a little extra support I want to provide a few resources for you to consider. First, you as the parent OR their mentor/other positive role model in your child’s life, might be all that is needed. Patience and consistency are extremely important so make certain you monitor the situation rather than think your child “gets it” after that particular homework lesson is completed.

Another alternative to consider is a tutor. I know what you might be thinking, “I can’t afford that,” but you probably can.  First, have a conversation with your child’s teacher to let him/her know you would like some assistance for your child.  Many high schools have joint programs with an elementary school whereby juniors or seniors who are strong in any given particular subject would love to provide supervised tutoring to a younger student. It is my understanding there is usually not a fee for such help. Your child’s school can assist in exploring this.

As you have conversation regarding assistance for your child with his or her teacher, also speak with your school’s family life educator or social worker to ask for their assistance.  They may have knowledge of local colleges providing tutors that are grant funded. Your school’s family life educator and or social worker can help in many ways but you must make your concerns known.

Please ask any questions or share any comments.  I hope this helps!

Breathe……don’t forget to breathe~

Greetings,

The new school year is well underway and by now you are probably starting to hear a little “buzz” regarding parent/teacher conferences.  Parent/teacher conference is a great way to become acquainted with your child’s teacher most especially if you have not already done so and even if you have, it is another opportunity for reacquaintance. If you are following me on Facebook you will notice consistent mentions of the importance of involvement in your child’s education, and parent/teacher conference is one of the many opportunities for you to do so.

I thought to give you some ideas as to how to start preparing for this important meeting.  Hopefully you have been monitoring your child’s homework and having conversation with your child so that you can gage how he or she is doing, where they might be struggling, what their favorite hour of the day might be such as reading, math, geography, and so on. What have you asked your child about his or her teachers and what did you learn from their reply?  Each of these observations provide you with insight into their day as well as helps you start a mental list of talking points for your scheduled conference time. A journal is a great way for you to capture some of the essential answers to these questions and a journal does not have to be anything fancy or pretty. Head on over to an office supply store and pick up a Mead notebook for under a dollar, which will serve as the perfect journal!  When questions or comments from your child comes to mind that you feel you would like further conversation about with your child’s teachers, write it down in that notebook and let that notebook accompany you to each conference. If you do this from the beginning, it will have increased value to you and your child as the years go by and in addition, it can help you avoid “I forgot to ask the teacher” moments.

It is your child’s teacher’s responsibility to come to conference prepared, and it is also your responsibility to arrive at conference prepared.  Applying a team concept like this will assist in encouraging a positive learning experience and school year for your child.

As you know, “Single and ApParent” is new, so spread the news and please share this blog page with your friends, family, and coworkers and whomever else you feel would gain meaning from it. This, as well as my Facebook page are for your learning, questions, concerns, and interactions so I welcome your involvement, after all, empowering single parents is the overall goal and purpose.

So, get that journal and grab that pen as you begin thinking conference and remember… don’t forget to breathe!  Happy Fall!

Greetings parents!

We are just a few days away from Labor Day which as you know marks the end of summer.  Did it go fast for you?  For me it was a long and hot one and because I do not unfortunately live on the lake , I am welcoming the beauty of Fall!  If your child has not started back to school yet, they will after Labor Day, so I want to make certain you think of this new school year as a new opportunity for success. Hopefully you read “Single and ApParent” over the summer break, if not, this would be the perfect time to become friends with this “easy read” book that is full of tips all geared towards your success in parenting.  As you prepare for the first day of school I would like to personally ask that you add parental participation to that list.  You might be wondering how you can manage yet” one more thing” to your already very full day as a single parent.  Don’t stress, there are many ways you can be involved regardless of your situation and lifestyle.  Here are some ideas that might help you:  Home Room parent, crossing guard, playground monitor, hall monitor, PTA member, field trip driver, field trip chaperone, parent/teacher conference assistant, parent office assistant, reading tutor, playground volunteer.  Believe it or not there are even more ways to get involved and the tasks I have listed is a “something for everyone” list. Regardless of your situation, at least one of these will fit your lifestyle and the best part is you will totally surprise yourself at how much you enjoy it!  I am speaking from experience, I loved every single minute of my involvement time the entire while my son was in school, and I was such a regular that when my son glanced up from his task and saw me, he was never surprised. Point being, I was there, in spite of full time employment and college at night, I was there.  Your child will gain more from your involvement than you can even imagine, and your presence also communicates an important message to your child’s teachers.  Let me know if you have any questions and use this blog to exchange ideas, thoughts, concerns, and successes. Each of you have something of importance to give, and we can all learn from each other IF we choose to.  I hope you find these suggestions helpful, let me know!  Wishing you a safe and successful school year and keep the stress at bay-don’t forget to breathe!

Have you visited my “Single and ApParent” Facebook page?  There you will find an array of information specific to parenting particularly single parents.  With school fast approaching I will be highlighting readiness skills based on grade level. With that in mind, previously I highlighted Kindergarten readiness. Make certain to read “Single and ApParent” where you will find a list of tasks your child should be able to master.  If your child is starting first grade, it is also important for you as parents to have some idea of what to expect in order to ensure their success and to make the school year better for everyone.  First grade, and the grades that follow will simply “build” in skills from the previous school year.  Some of these tasks for first grade are: Can he or she tell time, recognize shapes, read AND write their name, print well, have basic understanding of a story that is read to them and be able to convey the events of that story?  These are just some of the skills you should be aware of.  If you read to and with your child through the summer months they should for the most part be able to do these things.  Continue working on these skills. It is much easier to be ahead of the game than to have to catch up.  All is within your control moms and dads, and realize your child wants to learn so please remember that. Believe in them, and provide them with the tools and encouragement they need for promised success and as always a reminder to you, don’t forget to breathe!  Please share any question, concerns, and comments you might have.

Greetings!  What a early hot summer this has been-perfect for those who are fortunate to live by the ocean or on a lake where they can simply “take a dip” on a moment’s notice to quell the summer heat! Hopefully that will be me one day soon, but that’s certainly not my situation right now!  I hope you are managing to stay cool and are having a great summer break! With the start of another school year just a few weeks off, I want to provide some reinforcement and reminders to hopefully help get your school year off to a great success. First, I hope and trust you have been reading to and with your child over the summer months as well as encouraging them to read. As I clearly state in the book “Single and ApParent”, the library is a wonderful place to spend time-anytime, much less on these hot summer days. Whether you have a child starting pre-school, kindergarten, middle school, or even high school, the love of a book absolutely will not fail them. For my pre-school and particularily kindergarten parents, can your child recognize the first few letters of the alphabet?  If not, start working with them on that skill set today. Can they recognize the primary colors such as red, blue, yellow, black, and..?  If not, please start working with them on this skill set as well-today.  These are just a couple of skills they should master prior to the school year so it is not too late, but you must start now.  My desire is always to support and educate parents-particularly single parents because I fully know first hand how challenging the job is.  Over the next few weeks I will share more information on school readiness for middle, junior high, as well as high school students.  Please let me know how you are doing and share any questions or input on this blog page, this is what it is for!  For more information on kindergarten readiness purchase “Single and ApParent” and monitor your child’s success on the checklist I have provided.  Don’t let the thought of another school year stress you, simply prepare, read, and don’t forget to breathe!

Greetings,

I hope each of you are having a great summer!  To me, it is fleeting by so I thought to share a few observations I have made over these very warm summer months. First, although I live on the “outskirts” of city limits there are residential areas of course we all have to pass through. I find myself observing each summer, very small children playing on “kid powered” toys right at curbside. Because both the children as well as their toys are so small, it is extremely difficult to see them until you are practically upon them. This is very disturbing to me and my first thought is always, “where are their parents?” Even traveling the very low speed limit which is usually 25mph, it would be challenging to stop if for some reason that little child lost control and rolled off of the curb and into the street. Something I don’t even want to think about.  This very scenario came to reality last summer and thankfully I was anticipating it as I drove through this specific area. Cars parked along the street plus curbs, plus children playing,  NOT a healthy or safe situation and offers high potential for accidents.  So I wanted to caution you to make certain your children are safe during outdoor play.  A few precautions:  Always keep them in the backyard away from traffic flow; be aware of pools-even a small wading pool holds enough water for a small child to drown; be aware of animals particularly dogs. Although most all cities have a leash law there might be a negligent owner or, a dog may for whatever reason become unleashed; and what about predators who loiter around for that one child who appears to be unsupervised?  These are just a few things I want to remind my followers of. There is no substitute for a parent or caregiver’s attentive eye.  More later, until then, please share how your summer is going, I would love to hear what you and your children are doing!  Visit my Facebook page and follow me on Twitter at #singleandapparent. Be safe, have fun, and don’t forget to “read” ..and breathe.

Greetings,

Summer is now officially here which means summer break for kids and lots of free time for play. With injuries being the leading cause of death in children, I  thought to share some preventative ways to help you avoid outdoor injuries and keep your child/children safe.  A couple of things:  Burns on the playground are more common than parents might realize and are often caused by metal slides, or other playground equipment made of metal. If you think about it, metal attracts and holds heat from the sun therefore, all a slide needs is a short exposure to sunlight on any typical summer day to become a “grill” for any child’s flesh most especially considering summer wear.  Therefore, make certain to test the slide with your open hand before allowing your child to use it. If it feels too warm to your touch, it is a severe burn just waiting to happen to your child. Also, make sure you check any equipment your child will be playing on to make certain there are no obvious flaws. Take a tire swing for example, is it holding water which is a great breeding ground for mosquitos, or is there a small drainage hole in the bottom as there should be, which allows for any accumulated water to escape?  Does the climbing equipment have guard/safety rails as it should? If you are spending time at a pool, do you have U.S. Coast Guard approved life jackets?  These are just a few “heads up” I wanted to share with you to help you have a safe and fun summer. I would love for you to share some of the things you will be doing with your child/children over the summer break so please chime in and share!  Happy summer of 2016 and don’t forget to breathe and  make certain your child reads!

On Sunday June 19, 2016 many Americans will be honoring Father’s Day. While I personally do not think it should take any one particular day to honor a father-or mother for that fact, I can appreciate  the attention to fathers this one day brings. As a divorced single mother of one, I too will recognize my former husband and father of our son on this day even though throughout the year I make it a point to let him know of his importance in our son’s life. Of course our son does the same.  The mere fact we are divorced indicates a clear breakdown in my marriage. As a result, it took considerable consistent effort to create a amicable relationship with my ex-husband for the “best interest of our son” today. I want you to know that path was not without its challenges-but worth it. Bruised egos, anger, resentment are just some of the scars some individuals carry as a result of severed unions.  It is important for me to personally share this with you to serve as a reminder of how critically important it is to do all within your power to create a civil relationship with the father of your child/children. If a child results from a willing physical relationship and he is a safe person for the child to be with, this is the only path we should take as single mothers.  All children need a father or father figure, and in my book I go into detail as to what a father is. Whether your child is a daughter or a son, believe me when I say he or she needs a father figure in their life. Please do not short change your child by allowing your ill feelings due to unaddressed issues to interfere with that important need. You will pay the price and so will your child.  There are so many loving men out there who desperately desire a relationship with their child and are doing all they can to ensure that, although it may not be quite evident to you. However, if you allow yourself the “gift” of trying to see that, and if you open the door to extend that invitation to him, your child will thank you years to come.  There can be extenuating circumstances no one really either knows about or cares about that may make it extremely difficult for a biological father to initially participate in the manner in which society may feel he should, but that does not mean he is not trying.  Please do not stand in judgement, often those who judge the most may play the greatest role in creating those very barriers.  You are not together for a reason but there is a child so move on emotionally, and know that child yearns for their “other half” in spite of how much you may try to convince yourself otherwise.  So, if you haven’t done so reach out to him this Father’s Day.  A card or telephone call might be the very little thing that jump starts a positive change in your life and the life of your child you will never regret.  Take the “high road” moms and allow that love in and always remember, that “other person” is their “other half”.

Once again, summer vacation is just around the corner, and in spite of the challenges of this school year, you might find yourself wondering where in the world did it go! Whatever the challenges you made it, and those school year challenges have now been traded for the challenge of summer vacation!  As single parents you know what I mean. Safe, quality, and affordable childcare that keeps your child engaged in learning, fun, safe outdoor play, perhaps trying to see if a “mini vacation” is doable and affordable. Each of these thoughts will more than likely present some degree of stress.  I thought to give you a few tips that may help you better prepare.  First of all, begin now by contacting your child’s school family life educator or social worker to inquire about summer programs they may be aware of, your local YMCA and YWCA , your local library, as well as your city department of parks and recreation. These are a few resources that often have affordable safe and supervised summer activities for school aged children. Scholarships might also be available to assist with cost.  By starting to plan now it will save you a lot of last minute stress and worry.  As long as your child is safe with the other parent, do not forget to involve him or her in the planning. Working together from a place of honesty, consideration and maturity creates a “win/win” for everyone.  So, take a “deep breath”, and be energized about summer vacation!  I can honestly tell you I always was as I looked forward to the endless trips to the beach, the zoo, summer cookouts, “ice skating ventures” (yes-ice skating!), roller skating, bicycling, and the list just keeps going. Remember, some of the most meaningful things you can do with your child are without a lot of cost, and the most important gift of all-your time, is free.  Would love to hear what some of your plans are for this summer with your child and don’t forget to read! Happy and safe summer vacation!