Greetings Moms and Dads!

It’s the start of another week and the thought occurred to me to check in with you to see how you prepare your child for another week of school.  I hope they are looking forward to it even if they are like my son was, rarely “overly excited” about the thought! In spite of that, I always tried to make certain he had a great send off which began with his back pack prepared and getting to bed by 8:00.

An early bedtime is so essential if a child is to do well academically. Most elementary classes begin around 8:50 and middle school is earlier than that usually starting around 7:45, so you can see why an early bedtime is a must.

In approximately seven hours on the east side of the country kids will begin preparing for their school day. Remember, you began the preparation the night before and now morning preparation comes in. My question to you is “what about breakfast?”  Whatever you do, please do not let your child leave the house on an empty stomach.

One final note, whether you take them to school, ride share, or they take the bus, do you leave them with positive affirming thoughts before telling them how much they are loved?  I hope so.

“Single And ApParent” goes far more into detail on these topics and others so be sure you have your copy in hand, or on the way. It’s an easy reference to help and support you.  I hope you have a wonderful week!

Questions and comments are always needed and welcomed!

Peace~

Greetings Moms and Dads!

I just want to share a quick tid bit regarding back to school.  If you have a child entering Jr. High -7th grade, you will find honing in on organizational skills are very important.  I have previously shared this topic of concern with you.  Starting around 5th grade your child’s teachers will begin to talk more about the importance of good organization with their class as well as with parents during conferences, so I want to give you a “heads up”.

Organizational skills should therefore also be a focus area at home and the best thing about this learning lesson is your child can practice this skill without even realizing it.  For example, is their back-pack emptied at the end of each school day to make certain home work assignments are not forgotten?  Are the necessary clothes hung up or put away after the end of the school day?  Is their planner complete so they know what is expected of them the following day when they return to school and did you check and initial it to be sure?  Are their clothes properly laid out for the following school day prior to going to bed for the night or whatever the plan is?  These are just a few ways healthy organizational skills can be developed.

If you don’t have a plan try putting this one into practice today. Let organization become one of your child’s healthy habits!  Not only will they thank you,  you will be glad you did!

Your questions and comments are always welcome and needed~

Peace~

Greetings Single moms and dads!

How often do your find yourself  wondering how you are going to get through “this”?  You know, all of the issues that are often joined at the hands for most single parents.  Finances, sleep deprivation, only thinking you know what a vacation really is, work concerns, transportation concerns, a lack luster dating life.  Truth is, I don’t even have to think about these things, my keyboard is practically typing all by itself!  Why?  Cause I KNOW, I’ve been there!  What I want you to realize is that you can and will get through it if you really want to!

Each of the above and the many partners it carries causes stress, and stress affects us in ways we don’t even realize.  That nagging headache that might visit from time to time, that “kink” in your back you just can’t seem to get rid of, the bed that just doesn’t seem to want to let go of you on your day off, that little tiny thing that for whatever reason made you somewhat upset.  It is highly likely each of these much less when combined is causing uhealthy stressors in your life and your body is starting to react.  It’s time to listen.

Hypertension, digestive disorders, depression, excess eating, unhealthy cravings are just a few ways your body might react when it’s in overload.

What I want you to do is install a stress-o-meter in your mind that you stay in touch with to make certain things are not out of control.  Know when you are reaching your limit for your own health as well as the health of your child.  Not only are there healthy ways to cope but also healthy ways to off set each of these potentially dangerous reactions. But you have to first recognize they are there “tapping” on your shoulders.

For more on the effects of stress and  how to combat stress, read “Single And ApParent” today!  It was written to inform you as well as to help you, and it will.

What is the most stressful thing you are dealing with?  How do you think you are managing?  Let me know.

Take care of YOU.

Peace~

Greetings!

A great father is irreplaceable, I know.  A great father figure and mentor is a lifetime influence as well.

When I think of  the many faces of single parenting I always see faces of men in my visual collage. I see dads because they are real, there are thousands of single parent father households doing their very best to hold it down just like mothers.  Single moms who are giving it there best are amazing to me and most certainly so are single dads.

As a matter of fact ladies for those of you like myself who are single, I will inform you one great benchmark  of character is often a man who had the role as a single parent.  So never discard him quickly but rather do a double take. If his character and mental health is in tack, he’s probably worth it. **I got carried away-that was a side note! :  )

There is much more detailed information on single parent fathers in my book “SingleAndApParent.”

Whenever you visit this page please share our blog, and take a minute now to share this with every single parent on your fb page as well as the father figure or biological father in your child’s life.  This blog is for each one of you regardless of your single parent journey.

If you are s single father reading this, let me know any questions or concerns you might have and always feel free to leave a comment.

Peace~

Greetings!

As I continue to work with families and various schools I have become increasingly concerned about truancy which means “illegal absence” from school.  I want to make certain you are aware of the importance of a child being in school every single day of the school year. Now of course if a child is sick there is only one place for them to be which is at home. There is no questioning that.  But barring any other reasons a child not attending school on a regular basis not only places them at an academic disadvantage, but did you know it is also a form of neglect?

Regular attendance is a must, and so is being on time.  Tardiness counts against your child’s academic record, were you aware?  So it’s important that your child realizes the importance of both regular attendance and getting to class on time.

Of course “Single And ApParent” goes far more into detail regarding some of the effects of unsatisfactory school attendance so I hope you have your copy for reference.  If you haven’t yet ordered, do so today. The information provided in this little book will prove valuable in your life as a single parent.

So with the new week beginning tomorrow, if you haven’t already done so committ to getting your children to school on time everyday, and make certain they are getting themselves to class on time every day.  If your child is in high school the same rules should apply. There’s never an exception to rules when it comes to the necessary building blocks for a successful school year.

Ask any questions and share your comments.

Peace~

Greetings!

I was recently asked to give some insight on school detentions and with the new school year in full swing this is a perfect time for this topic. Here’s the scoop.

First as I clearly spell out in “Single And ApParent” get involved and stay involved in your child’s education.  Data clearly and consistently shows children who have a parent who is engaged in this manner simpy fare better than those who do not.  In addition, your involvement is also the opportunity to know your child’s school’s discipline policy.

Children can be disciplined for various reasons usually behavioral, and of course the teacher is most often the determinant of that behavioral violation.  So the first thing all parents should do is get familiar with a copy of your school’s code of conduct rules.  Know the rules yourself and share the rules with your child.  To do so puts you and your child ahead of the game already.

If you are at all current on recent events there have been some very disturbing alleged incidents pertaining to school suspensions, with the primary reason being Black children wearing their natural hair in its own ethnic fashion.  Such styles have consisted of various styles of braids, locks, and Afros.

My strong opinion as an educator is, to expell any child for being who they culturally are is a blatant violation of civil liberties and should not be tolerated.

Do you know your school’s policy on detention and expulsions?  Do you have a copy of your child’s school handbook and have you reviewed it with your child to make certain they are clear about your expectations as their parent as well as the school’s?  Have you met your child’s teachers-all of them?  Have you met the administration including Principal?  Have you addressed any concerns in the student handbook that might seem discriminatory and or insensitive in nature?  I could go further but that’s what “Single And ApParent” does, it is far more reaching in detail regarding this topic.

If your answer to any of the above is “no”, I strongly urge you to turn each of these answers into a “yes” before the next school week begins. Remember, it is both your right to know and your DUTY to know in the best interest of your child.

Your questions and comments are needed and welcomed.

Peace~

Greetings!

Now that school is back in full session I have received several requests from parents asking me if breakfast is really that important for their teenager.  The answer simply put is YES!  Here’s why.

The number one reason is energy level. Whether a child or adult your body needs glucose in order to perform at maximum level. In “Single And ApParent” I expound on this important basic need in more detail.

Healthy food really is fuel for your child’s body including their brain. If your child’s body is not properly fueled at the beginning of the day it is literally running on nothing which will first and foremost affect their concentration.  Regardless of age, their body will set off an alarm usually indicated by growling of the stomach followed by a feeling of sluggishness, and by mid-morning a child’s body is virtually maxed out. Think of how you are affected as an adult when you skip breakfast even though you have a higher tolerance level.

Knowing these facts will help you ensure your child’s day begins with a nutritous meal regardless of their age. Start that healthy habit early on and never part from it, it will therefore become a habit for your child too!

Can you guess the number one influence over whether or not your child eats breakfast?  The first 2 people to answer this correctly will receive a signed copy of “Single And ApParent”!  Let me know!

Good luck!

Peace~

Whenever parents talk to me regarding their lives both personally and as it pertains to parenting, it always causes me to reflect upon what they shared.  As a single parent myself of course much of what is shared I can relate to and some things of course I have not personally experienced. Nonetheless, whatever the conversations I find them meaningful and I always learn something.

One common theme that resonates with single parents in particular is the desire to stay uplifted, the need to feel affirmed with the end goal being the belief you can succeed regardless.

All of this and much more makes me feel compelled to create what I will call “The Single Parent’s Creed.”  It is:

1.  I vow to take the best care of myself first so that I can better care for my family
2.  I will become even more disciplined to ensure the best management of my time particulalrly during the evening when my family is assembled at home
3. I will do my best to make certain my family is in bed at a reasonable hour for both their health as well as my own
4. I will set aside 3-5 minutes at the start of each day to meditate and feel my own heartbeat to ensure that my day will begin with a clear mind and focus
5. I will make certain my family has a healthy nutritious breakfast to fuel their day and not lose sight that I need the same to take care of “me”
6. I will send my family off to school clean, groomed, properly nourished, and with positive thoughts to enhance the start to their day
7. I will begin my workday whatever my job is embracing and reminding myself that I am striving even if I can’t see it as long as I keep going
8. I will remind myself my tears aren’t always a sign of weakness but rather also the Creator’s way of clearing my vision so I can better see the path that makes me even stronger
9. I will remind myself my family is deserving of love, safety, and happiness
10. I will remind myself I am deserving of the same

Let me know if you like our Creed!

Peace~

Greetings!

Can you believe summer is now gone?  Even though the weather tells us otherwise here on the east coast, fall is definately in the air!  If you are an “east coaster” you understand what I mean, it’s just a feeling we’ve come to know as a result of living in a four season state.  The signs are everywhere from squirrells starting to store their food for the cold winter months, to children heading back to school.  Each is a reminder we must say good-bye to summer.

As single parent families prepare to once again alter their routein to accommodate another school year, I want to both encourage your engagement and support your engagement around the importance of your involvement and presence in your child’s school.  Please embrace the fact it’s not an option, but a must. If you have read my book you know the reasons are several with the most important being fostering a successful outcome for this new school year. If you have not yet grabbed your copy of “Single And ApParent” now is the perfect time.

Here are a couple of thoughts as you prepare your family for the new school year:  Do you have a structured bedtime ritual?  Are your child’s clothes clean, appropriate for school and arranged before bedtime?  Is there a plan for breakfast in the morning as well as school lunch?  And depending on the age of your child, is the backpack ready to go?  Getting a handle on each of these will make your mornings much easier.

Lastly, one of the most important preparation questions is ‘have you met your child’s principal and teachers?”  If you haven’t, realize you are entrusting the total welfare of your child for the next approximately seven hours five days a week to a total stranger. That could never have worked for me and it shouldn’t for any parent. I can’t stress enough the importance of knowing your child’s school environment and that begins with the principal to the teachers.

I hope your child read all summer long and I hope you will encourage this important activity all throughout the school year.

Is your child excited about returning to school?  Please take a few minutes to let us know, we’d LOVE to hear! I hope this will be a wonderful school year!

Peace~

Greetings!

As I was traveling this week for work I heard a conversation on a radio broadcast I thought to share with you.  Apparently this single mother of two had been seeing this gentleman for a while and she was planning a birthday party for one of the children.  She asked the person she was dating for twenty dollars in her preparation for the event and he politely declined.  Allegedly he told her she has two biological fathers between the two children and quite naturally asked her why she was not asking them.  Apparently many people called into the station sharing their thoughts as did the radio personalities doing the broadcast.

My immediate thoughts?  I am in complete support of the gentleman’s position on this. As a single parent myself during the time when I was raising my son never once would I have had a thought to expect anyone I was seeing to contribute to my son’s ANYTHING.  In addition, rarely would I even accept an engagement when my son was not visiting his father who resided approximately two hours away. Although the town I live is has never offered more than a lack luster social life I simply would not date when my son was home.

As single mothers and fathers it is important that we keep in mind these are our children and our responsibility, not the child or responsibility of anyone we might be dating.  Therefore to ask or expect a monetary contribution from the person you might be “involved” with is not only out of line, but lacks any degree of class.

Some of you might disagree with me and that’s ok. I simply believe in accountability and accepting responsibility for our own actions.  Let me know what you think about this.

Remember to keep it classy!

Peace~