Greetings,

Two days ago when I returned home from my usual four day trip I suddenly found myself feeling “heavy”. You know, when you feel like you are literally carrying a forty pound bag of something on your back?  So I began to talk myself through that downward feeling while trying to understand its source.  I just had a great trip with a great crew, met “someone” I was happy to meet, and although I gravely dislike the area of Michigan I live in I absolutely love the home I retun to.  So, why the heavy feeling?

I decided to “get still” and just listen to the quiet of my home and during those minutes of meditation it occurred to me my late mother’s birthday was in two days.  That was it, I was feeling such a sunken state of mind as I mourn the loss of her physical presecence every single day of my life since she physically transitioned six and a half years ago.  I was attached to my mother’s hip and her moving beyond this diminsion has traumatized my life.  Now what?

As like during my quiet meditative moments I seek her voice and the voice of my equally precious late father, and then I think of my son. Even though he is an adult trying to figure out and forge his journey he loved his grandmother beyond measure too.  I think of his consistent loving words to her and the tenderness in which he treated her as he should have of course.  As these thoughts overwhelm my mind they come with the realization my son is watching me, and in my response to daily life including grief, the message I am modeling for him.

So, I will allow myself to always feel the pain of missing my beloved mommy and I will soothe my wounds the best I can.  Then, I will get back up and continue to press forward in honor of her and my beloved dad. That’s what they did, that’s what they want me to do. After all, someone is watching me.

There are three things I would like you to do right now:  Like and share this message; let me know if you and your family have experienced grief and what helped you the most to get through it; and order “Single And ApParent” for the holidays to learn more about the importance of pushing forward.

Peace~

Greetings!

It’s that time of year once again where everything we see and hear is sending us messages to spend, spend, and spend more often than not, money we don’t really have. Before you get caught up I caution you to think about what spending has to do with love and being thankful?  Not to mention it’s much easier to “love” when stress is lessened therefore debt can only increase ones stress level.

Thankfulness should be a daily practice, a daily ritual in ones life regardless of religious or spiritual belief.  I am thankful every single day.  Some of the things I am most thankful for are my late parents, for loving me, nurturing me, sacrificing for me, and teaching me to the utmost of their profound ability. They were geniuses without a book to reference aside from the majesty of their minds and the rich knowledge handed down from their elders. I’m thankful for my now adult son who now mentors others and for having survived the tumultuous journey of single parenthood.

I am grateful for having forged though in order to have a solid relationship with my ex husband, my son’s father.  Don’t think for one minute it was easy but it was necessary and worth it.

I am thankful for each of my followers and visitors to this page, for bearing with me during my short gaps of absence due to my career in inflight, and for your loyalty in staying with me both here and on Facebook.  I am thankful for your question, comments, and sharing of information.

I ask you to have conversations with your children more often than not about some of the things they are most thankful for. To do so will help them stay balanced and hopefully appreciative of the things that are important. Health, love, shelter, food, clothing, family including elders, and parents.  Yes, money is needed for some of these vital things, but not the endless love family and parents provide.

Here’s hoping you stay grounded particularly over these next several weeks and use this time to embrace yourself first, then your children, to keep your struggling finances from imploding, and to realize what’s most important and that is you are in this very moment.

Let me know how you plan to keep your focus over these next several weeks. I would love to hear!

Peace~

Parent/teacher conferences?

Greetings!

It’s that time for most school districts to begin preparing for parent/teacher conferences.  Do you realize how important this meeting is for the success of your child’s education?  Let me give you a few reasons why.

First, it’s important for your child to see you involved in his or her school, children are proud to see and hear their parent met with their teachers IN SPITE of what thay might tell you!

Second, it lets your child’s teacher, principal, and administrators know you as a parent are concerned about what is taking place when your child is at school and left in the all day care of others.

Third, it gives you as a parent the opportunity to browse every single classroom to get a feel for your child’s school environment which is critically important parents!

Fourth, it provides you a face to face opportuntiy to ask any questions you might have to your child’s teachers regarding their progress and challenges.

And of most importance, it gives you the opportunity to carefully observe each classroom including looking at each bookshelf to see what reading materials are available to your child as well as what chapter books the teacher might be reading to the entire classroom. Can your child see their reflection in any of those materials?  If not, that is an immediate issue you need to address if you are a parent of color.

As I say in “Single And ApParent”, parents are a child’s first teacher and it’s important that parents have a genuine feel for each educator influencing their child every single day.

So please make certain you know when conferences are and that you show up. Showing up is everything and sends the most important message to not only your child but also their school, that you are there!

For more details on this topic, purchase your copy of “Single And ApParent” today and share this information with everyone you know!

Questions or concerns about conferences or any other topic?  Let me know.

Peace~

Greetings!

A HUGE thank you to those of you who participated in our single parent survey! Each of you provided  meaningful input and suggestions that will not only benefit yourself but also every parent visiting this blog.

I love hearing from you whether privately or publicly. The majorty of participants either sent information to the email address listed in the back of my book “Single And ApParent” or messaged me privately. Either way, your comments and suggestions were duly noted.  Here are some of the most requested topics for me to share my insight on:

Dating challenges with single parents including how often is too much

Management of sibling rivalry challenges

Social isolation and the single parent

What is meant by a healthy role model

When is it ok for him or her to meet your child

He or she doesn’t like my kids, now what

I don’t like my child’s teacher, what can I do

What’s organic food and can I afford it

Discomfort at the thought of dating due to parenting a special needs child

These are just a few of the many requests submitted and I will be addressing each of these topics and many more over the next several weeks.  So, keep your questions and suggestions coming. I personally promise you I am reading each and every one of them. Let’s keep each other empowered!

Peace~

Greetings!

Single fathers never would I ignore you, but this post is geared to mothers only because of the girl factor!  If you have a significant person in your life feel free to share this with her however, she will probably find it meaningful!

As single mothers you probably feel a financial “pinch” on a fairly regular basis, I know I did. That was the “Ying” side of me.  : )  As a former make-up artist the “Yang” side was always tugging me towards the “aisles of beauty” whenever I would enter a store with a cosmetic counter.  The most interesting part is personally, I am a make-up minimalist! I wear very little makeup at all and I’ve always been that way. Yet I still love that aspect of beauty.

I want to give you a few tips on how to keep yourself looking your best without breaking yor budget.

1.  Realize beauty begins on the inside so proper diet, exercise and rest is essential
2.  If you go to the hair salon look for coupons, they are usually everywhere
3.  Have you ever considered getting that cut, trim, color, or manicure from a beauty school?  It’s every bit worth the consideration.  Those students are supervised at each step so you are probably at a lesser risk depending on the service you are requesting than you would be if you went to a salon. Just remember to ask for a senior student who is close to graduation
4. In need of a massage?  Have you considered a massage school?  You certainly should! That’s exactly what I did during my son’s high school years for much needed affordable relaxation and detoxification. Again, just make certain you ask for a senior student who is approaching graduation
5. What about that pedicure?  Again, I would not hesitate to go to an accredited beauty school and request that senior student
6. In need of makeup?  From powder, foundation, mascara, cleansers…you get what I mean, whatever your needs are a reputable drugstore, Target, or grocery store that carries make-up is an excellent venture!

A few extra tips:  make a list of what you need so that you aren’t over purchasing to avoid waste. Keep in mind all makeup has a shelf life.  Once you’ve made your list start watching for sales wherever you shop from grocery store to your local drugstore realizing everything will eventually go on sale so just keep an eye out!

My most important tip is for you to realize you are already beautiful!

If you enjoyed this let me know and please share with others!

Peace!

Greetings!

This will be a continued series and due to recurring question I receive regarding dating relationships I thought to open the conversation here. The more impactful it will be if you join in.

Are you a dating single parent mom or dad?  If so, I have a few survey questions:

1.  what are your greatest challenges?
2.  how often in a month do you date?
3.  who is babysitting your children if they are younger when you do date?
4.  if your child/children have met the person you are dating  how soon did that take place?

Order  your copy of “Single And ApParent” today to learn more on this topic and “Like & Share” this blog and survey with every singe parent you know!

I am happy to reply to you privately however please know if and when you publically ask questions I assure you there are others seeking the very same information.

I will be following up over the next couple of days based on the replies I get to these questions. Thank you for your participation!

Peace~

Greetings!

Being raised on a farm proves to be more pricelss for me by the day, how many times have I wished I could have given my son a similar experience.  As an adult the benefits of that beginning far outweigh the disadvantages. That environment along with the Divine Blessing of the mom and dad I had resulted in my being a completely different person than I would have been had I been raised in a more urban environment. I am so deeply grateful and I’ll briefly share a few reasons why I feel this way.

My innocence remained intact in every single way. Climbing trees, building forts, fishing, walks through the forest, organic gardening, compounded by nothing less than positive examples of parenting were absorbed into every essence of my formation and foundation. How could it not? It was all I knew.  So when I graduated from high school off I went, beyond innocent into a world of wolves! : )

When we woud take summer trips and go through what was considered “red light” district I recall my fascination as well as my siblings, as we starred in awe of  men and women on street corners doing various “things”, wearing next to nothing.  I remember us gasping as we emphatically said “look”! As my dad attempted to explain some of what being lost, broken and defeated looks like.

My parents modeled such an extradordinary value system to us. My beautiful mom exemplified what a “lady” was to me, and that well deserved opinion of her never changed. She was pretty, strong, brilliant, devoted, immaculately clean, and taught me and my siblings values. Values meaning “principles or standards,” and they were high. Today, particularly as I travel and look around society, I am so thankful they were high.  My father reinforced those values in everything he did.  I never recall him speaking foul language, and I mean not one single word. It’s unbelievable in contrast when I think of what I hear from adults today.

It continues to be revealed to me how much their values have influenced me. From my language, my choices in the people I allow the privelege of coming into my life, to what I have modeled for my son. Don’t get me wrong now, was I perfect as a parent?  No, I made mistakes too, we all do.  But my value system was always in place, that I never compromised. These examples and so many more are strictly results of the value system I was taught and further developed because they were too valuable for me to throw away.  Never let anyone tell you values do not matter, they do.

Today’s society all too often robs children of any degree of innocence.  Innocence in how they dress, dance, to how they speak. Why?  Due largely to the influence of home followed by social media. When daughters or sons see their parents present theselves in any negative or provocative manner, they are absorbing it, I promise you that.  When daughters or sons are exposed to a profane way of talking, they are absorbing that negativity too, I promise you that.  Neither is ok if self-respect is of any degree of importance. Therefore, as a family life educator as I look at recent statistics around early sexual experiences and other societal issues the “dots” are all too often easy to connect.

Our children will learn their values OR lack there of from us and society will further influence.  Please take the time to give the word “values” thought and ask yourself, what are your personal and family values?  What are you “modeling” for your children. Unfortunately, some adults don’t know or even care. That’s sad to me, but I choose to focus on the ones that do.

There’s more on the importance of being a positive role model and positive influences vs negative influences in “Single And ApParent”. I hope you will find it enlightening.

Questions and comments are always welcome.

Peace~

Greetings Moms and Dads!

If you have a pre-teen or teen in school you are entering into a busy time of the school year. Athletic events, Homecoming, Sweetheart Swirl, and Prom are just a few important milestones in your child’s life that are more than likely filling up your already full calendar! This is a special as well as vulnerable stage for your child as they inch their way towards the world of adulthood.

Lucky for my parents I had no one to date, so this was a non eventful stage in my development! “Romantic” relationships are beginning to form.  Has your child mentioned that special “crush” they have on a particular boy or girl, or have you repeatedly heard them mentioning a particular name?  Have you opened and kept open the door of communication regarding their first “romance”?  Have you given any thought to preparing them for how to respectfully interact with that potential “crush”, how not to, and informed them of the signs of an unhealthy relationship choice no matter how immature it might seem?  I promise you-it’s time to do so.

Are you as a parent aware of the types of abuse? They are physical, emotional, sexual, verbal, and psychological, and it’s important to know males are just as vulnerable as females. According to the CDC the most vulnerable age range of such violence is between 16-24 yrs old and the actual acts of violence begin between the ages of 12-18 years.  I hope you can see why I feel the importance of talking to you regarding this all too prevelent act of social illness.

Just a few of the effects victims experience are:  increased useage of alcoholism and drugs, high risk sexual behaviors, girls are 6 times more likely to become pregnant as well as twice as likely to get a sexually transmitted disease as well as ongoing domestic violence.

As if these facts aren’t alarming enough, according to the CDC approximately 81% of parents do not believe teen dating violence is an issue or admit their lack of awareness if it is! In addition, approximately 60% do not know the very warning signs. My question to you is, if you don’t know as their parent how can the child be informed if they haven’t been taught?  Think about it.  As a result, approximately 33% of teen victims don’t tell anyone and carry this dangerous secret.

My book “Single And ApParent” shares information on domestic violence and I hope you either have read it, or will order your copy after you read this.  If you would like to book me for a speaking engagement on this topic or any other family related issue let me know here or msg my FB page.

What questions or comments do you have?

Peace~

Greetings Moms and Dads!

Do you or your child experience digestive difficulties after drinking cow’s milk or after consuming any similar dairy product?  If so, the likely culprit might be lactose intolerance.  Here’s a bit more info on this topic.

Lactose is a type of sugar found in cow or mammal milk or milk products. For many people problems arise whereby the body is not able to digest lactose which often results in symptoms such as acid reflux, diarrhea, gastritis as well as other abdominal difficulties.  African Americans in particular have a much higher percent of lactose intolerance.

Recent data from the US Dpt. of Agriculture indicates there has been a 30% decrease in overall milk consumption within America since 1975, it’s suggested this decrease is related to concumers questioning whether or not milk is indeed as healthful as initially thought and advertised. As a result, adults are turning to alternative dairy products for greater ease in digestion as well as better overall health.  Here are some healthy milk options to consider if you should choose to.

Almond, Coconut, Flax, Goat’s (goat milk contains much lower sugars than cow’s milk), Hemp, Oat, Rice, and Soy milk.  If protein is a concern Goat’s milk has the highest (10.9g protein), followed by Soy (7g protein), Hemp (2–3 g), and Oat (2.5 g).  I hope you find this helpful.

Have you read “Single And ApParent” yet?  If not, what are you waiting for? It’s full of information just like this geared to keeping your family safe. Order your copy before leaving this blog today and don’t forget to share information on this blog with everyone you know who could benefit. Help get the word out that we’re here!

Question or comments?  They’re always welcome and needed so that we can continue to help others.

Peace~