A conversation with single moms for Father’s Day

On Sunday June 19, 2016 many Americans will be honoring Father’s Day. While I personally do not think it should take any one particular day to honor a father-or mother for that fact, I can appreciate  the attention to fathers this one day brings. As a divorced single mother of one, I too will recognize my former husband and father of our son on this day even though throughout the year I make it a point to let him know of his importance in our son’s life. Of course our son does the same.  The mere fact we are divorced indicates a clear breakdown in my marriage. As a result, it took considerable consistent effort to create a amicable relationship with my ex-husband for the “best interest of our son” today. I want you to know that path was not without its challenges-but worth it. Bruised egos, anger, resentment are just some of the scars some individuals carry as a result of severed unions.  It is important for me to personally share this with you to serve as a reminder of how critically important it is to do all within your power to create a civil relationship with the father of your child/children. If a child results from a willing physical relationship and he is a safe person for the child to be with, this is the only path we should take as single mothers.  All children need a father or father figure, and in my book I go into detail as to what a father is. Whether your child is a daughter or a son, believe me when I say he or she needs a father figure in their life. Please do not short change your child by allowing your ill feelings due to unaddressed issues to interfere with that important need. You will pay the price and so will your child.  There are so many loving men out there who desperately desire a relationship with their child and are doing all they can to ensure that, although it may not be quite evident to you. However, if you allow yourself the “gift” of trying to see that, and if you open the door to extend that invitation to him, your child will thank you years to come.  There can be extenuating circumstances no one really either knows about or cares about that may make it extremely difficult for a biological father to initially participate in the manner in which society may feel he should, but that does not mean he is not trying.  Please do not stand in judgement, often those who judge the most may play the greatest role in creating those very barriers.  You are not together for a reason but there is a child so move on emotionally, and know that child yearns for their “other half” in spite of how much you may try to convince yourself otherwise.  So, if you haven’t done so reach out to him this Father’s Day.  A card or telephone call might be the very little thing that jump starts a positive change in your life and the life of your child you will never regret.  Take the “high road” moms and allow that love in and always remember, that “other person” is their “other half”.